To: Salty

Do not "except".

2009-11-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

If you encounter one of these coupons, they must be deknyed, no matter what. No acceptions.

"Anniversry" Cake.

2009-11-23T17:02:00.000-08:00

This is a cake that I had the pleasure of delivering to a room. Although it is customry to have cake for your anniversry, you should always make sure to consult your dictionry before you actually commit to the icing stage.

Who wants a hot bowl of "gutbo"? Or some "carca cake" for dessert?

2009-11-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

This is part one of what I refer to as "The Mother Lode". I doubt I could pick my favorite, but if pressed I would probably go with "Oyaster Bopy", substituting for "Oyster Poboy". And I have no idea how the word "Balsamic" became "BOSTA".

BONE END RIBEY.

2009-11-13T21:48:00.000-08:00

Someone ordered a "ribey" and wanted the bone to be "end" the steak. Only a completely endcompetent chef would leave end a bone.....you're just begging for a customer endjury.

"STOREAGE" area.

2009-11-11T13:48:00.000-08:00

This must have been a true abuseage of power on behalf of the signeage department.

What's up, my main lobster?

2009-11-09T23:48:00.001-08:00

This one is a two headed beast. Of course, you have the ongoing class war between the main lobsters and the auxiliary lobsters. But the other mystery is what the lobster "is", since the third word is obviously missing. Nobody would just throw an apostrophe into a word haphazardly and leave a sentence just dangling like that. That would be rude.

This may inspire McDonald's to introduce the Anus Turd Pounder.

2009-11-09T23:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what would be a good wine pairing with the Anus Burger, but it's good to see the beef industry keeping up with the hot dog folks when it comes to fully utilizing their product.

Someone should have attended specail ed.

2009-11-09T23:44:00.000-08:00

"The Correction". I feel like I almost need to swear on a stack of Bibles that this one was real. Just trust me. It is.

To:Salty

2009-11-07T22:13:00.000-08:00

This isn't really the one that started our obsession with documenting the diminishing spelling and grammar abilities of modern society, but it's definitely the best. Where to start? While working at a restaurant, I stumbled upon this receipt for an item that was being returned by a dissatisfied diner. The reason? The fish was "To:Salty". Now, I don't know if the server was trying to send the receipt or the uneaten fish to this "Salty" character, but we were able to piece together enough eyewitness accounts of the incident to photoshop the illustration that graces this site's main page.